Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash
Storytime. There was a time when I lived on Russian Hill in San Francisco. At the time, I was told that it was one of the most expensive places to live in the world. For those who care about such things. It was very nice. While living there, I received an invitation to move to San Pablo, California. I had a friend living there. He owned a one-bedroom condo. He offered for me to use the common room as a bedroom. For some reason I felt led to accept. So, I did. The area was in very bad shape at the time. At night, I would hear a popping noise coming from the outside. It was a little while before I realized that it was gunfire: gang activity, stuff like that. So, it was a big change from Russian Hill, but I never questioned it. I felt led to do it. So, I didn’t question it at all. In fact, I valued the change. Eventually my friend moved out and I was able to live there by myself. I started sleeping in the bedroom, and I used the common room for different things.
Without going too much into it, I will say that I was at a low point there. Not because of the location, but because I’d been searching for meaning in my life and love for a long time at that point. But without success. I was in a lot of pain on the inside. In fact, I was at a point where I was considering exploring some vices in the world in order to find some comfort. I felt desperate. I knew that if I move forward with entering into those vices that I probably wouldn’t survive. I felt defeated in life. But I did still feel like I had life in me. So, I had an idea. I closed up the condo for the night. I got ready for bed. I completely wrapped up my day. I went into the bedroom. I got down on my knees by the side of my bed. I put my elbows on the bed. And I prayed to God. I said, “God, if you exist, now’s the time to reveal yourself. I’ve searched for you and failed. I haven’t done well on my own. And I don’t think I’ll survive what’s to come. So please, if you exist, help me before it’s too late.” So, I wrapped up the prayer, went to bed, and when I woke up…I thought that I should give God some time to respond before doing anything rash or desperate.
About a week later, maybe a Friday night, I traveled into San Francisco, specifically the Richmond District, to spend some time, and there I met two girls. They were friends. I don’t remember how it came up, but they mentioned something spiritual that happened to them. I was amazed. And although it wasn’t Jesus Incarnate, I believed it was the beginning of God drawing me home. Fast forward many months, maybe over a year, I was sitting in my condo, and I was watching a documentary about Jesus. It was a documentary about how Jesus never actually lived. That Christianity was just a religion, made up to make people feel better…or worse. And that Jesus was no more real than a made-up character in any story. This documentary on a major television network laid all this out as fact. So, I’m sitting there in my condo at night, watching this documentary alone, surprised that Jesus was never an actual person. I mean, what did I know?
When I was suddenly overcome with a presence. And the presence spoke to me without speaking. There were words, but they weren’t out loud. The best way I can put it is it was a heart to heart communication. I was distinctly aware that the person was Jesus. And his presence gave me great peace and pause, where time stood still, and my surroundings departed. Where truth seemed to be something you could touch. And He said in the most loving and giving way, “I died for you.” I immediately knew it to be truth and responded, “Then my life belongs to you.” And that was it. That was the moment I became Christian. Life humbled me. And I was ready for Him. And He hasn’t left me since. And I will never let Him go. Well, there you have it. Thank you for your time and see you next time.